Truce

Yesterday, I went to the first session of a class I was thinking of taking. During the three hours I ran the pros and cons through my head and tried to get a sense of whether this was something I wanted to invest in or not. At the same time I realized that if I spent all my time thinking this way I'd waste the opportunity of learning from this session, and so I gave my head a little shake and focused on appreciating what was offered to me for about a minute before I went back to pros and cons.
It occurred to me today that this is generally what my life is like, little tugs of war, spending all my time pulling this way and that, assessing this thing and that person to see if I want to invest in it/them or not, when all the time I could, if I wanted, call a truce, put down the rope (since I hold both ends), and well, what? I'm not sure I even know what that would look like. Perhaps that's why I don't do it.