I am the human

I have engaged the services of a dog trainer. She has been twice. The first time was a disaster. Well, that's not strictly true, it's just that between dog-controlling-my-life issues, lack of sleep (related), hormonal pms, the trainer reaching in and pressing my throat to demonstrate the collar (boundaries!) and general perturbedness, I was very upset most of the session. It was almost a breakdown, I would say, for which I paid a hundred and five dollars. Despite this experience, and with an explanation of the boundaries issue, I asked her back and she came back this week. I like her, actually, I just wasn't in a very trainable place the first time, focused as I was on processing on only 2-3 hours of sleep in any one go. Sydney (the pup) has slept nearly a week now through the night which is fantastic as the first couple of weeks were truly, truly brutal.  I can only pity parents who have that kind of disturbed sleep pattern for months. I absolutely could not cope. No sir. She doesn't even wake up when I do these days - this morning I took her outside at 6.15, put her back in her pen, then had my morning cuppa and official Holy Quiet Time. She eventually thought about getting up around 8.30. Long may that last, if I didn't already jinx it.

Nowadays we're focused more on the housetraining (#1 priority) and control issues. I had a real fear that the puppy would control me - I find her energy challenging. My trainer used to be a counsellor which is another reason I wanted to continue with her as she can sense my issues (which are legion, naturally) and how they connect with the dog. The mantra she gave me was that I am in control: I Am The Human. So this is my phrase now, when the dog wants to demand something. I am the human, you are the dog. I am in control. I know you don't have to go out, I know you don't need food, and I know it's your witching hour but go mental with your toys while I watch Gilmore Girls (which, by the way, I knew I should have stopped watching at the beginning of season five. S'all I'm saying) then I'll take you out. Today I went out shopping and left her for 45 minutes, which did feel good.

So that's me and dog. I do wonder if I would have got her if I'd known then what I know now. Heaven only knows how I'm going to get a thesis written in the next six months. She (the trainer) assures me that there's the puppy phase, then the adolescent phase, and then it's all sweetness and light and a 'heart dog' if you put the work in now. So I'm working the hell out of that puppy, believe you me. It's like a prison camp around here. You Vill Do As I say - I Am Zee Human!