I have been in transition, partly self-imposed, partly imposed by circumstance. And now I'm emerging from the other side, I realise how much more relaxed life is when not in transition. This is not rocket science I know, but still, it's like only appreciating your health when you recover from being ill. Suddenly I am vastly appreciative of my community and my hard-won rootedness. To think I was considering giving that up. I had an interview scheduled Friday for a job on Vancouver Island which I thought I wanted, but as time went by and other opportunities came up, I realised I really didn't want to up sticks and start all over again; in fact that thought was pretty terrifying and it seemed awfully masochistic. So I'm staying put and have canceled the interview. I do have another job lined up, or at least potentially lined up, so I'm not totally reckless, and in any case, I'm still staying put. I'm not totally done transitioning but at least I know whatever I do end up doing is going to be within about an hour's drive of right here.
look, every day, at the choices you are making,
and when you ask yourself why you are making them,
find this answer:
Because they are what I want, or wish for.
Because they reflect who and what I am.
Anna Quindlen Being Perfect
One of my favourite 'communities', one that I've realised I depend on a great deal these days, is my 'family' at A Rocha. This past weekend I got to spend a whole weekend on Galiano Island with them (15 of us, plus 4 kids) restoring a couple of traditional sail boats that they use for a trip in the summer. We cleaned, sanded and re-painted the boats and even had time for a short trip, watched by bald eagles, otters and seals. So much fun. I might even dredge up every ounce of adventurousness and outdoorsyness and go on the boat trip in the summer. It involves camping, which is not my favourite thing in the whole wide world, but once in a while one has to get out of one's comfort zone, n'est-ce pas? Here I am painting (a better job than scraping algae off the bottom of the boat).
If you can [be] the self that you truly are, as opposed to some amalgam of manners and mannerisms, expectations and fears that you have acquired as a carapace along the way, you will be able to teach...by example not to be terrorized by the narrow and parsimonious expectations of the world, a world that often likes to color within the lines when a spray of paint, a scribble of crayon, would be much more satisfying.
Anna Quindlen Being Perfect
(I just read Being Perfect as you can probably tell. It's a small book - I read it in about half an hour - but I liked its attitude. I should say that in painting the boat I did in fact try very hard to stay inside the lines, but that's because it was someone else's boat.)
1 comment:
I hear you. I've been on an unintended blogging break and am just starting to again. I am thinking of you.
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